finding happiness

i hope you enjoy reading about my insecurities. just like all those other trying to become a better person blogs.
  • Ed Sheeran: There's rarely a guy that doesn't have a belly or bad legs. If women can accept that for us why can't we accept that for them?

5:00am 01/04

i think that for my healthy start resolution that i’m trying to do, the first thing i really need to work on is getting to bed and sleeping at reasonable hours. going to sleep and six am and waking up at a solid four pm is not conducive to being healthy and active… that being said, i went to bed at midnight tonight and woke up at three but i need to be up at seven to work out so i probably should try and get back to sleeping, but little baby steps here friends… i have no followers on this blog so this will just be my private write annoying long texts posts blog about working out and getting healthy. 
today i started to do P90X. it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be. the yoga damn near killed me, fucking downward dog. but i always hated downward dog.
in 2013 i want to lose all my hideous weight… i know it’ll take a while but this time for serious and for ME i’m in it for the long haul. really… i am. last year my resolution was to lose weight too, but i did that so i could make my loser creep ex boyfriend happy. wrong idea. i’ve grown up quite a bit in this past year and i’ve come to realize, that i have to be selfish and make my self happy first before i can start with anybody else, and i think that’s so hard for me because of my low self esteem. i want to help everybody else be happy around me so i don’t have to focus on what’s going on with me, i take on everyone else’s worries and problems, in fact, so i don’t worry about my own. this year is the year of emma. i’m going to work out and make myself feel beautiful, i’m going to surround myself with positive influences and cut out all the negativity in my life, which honestly won’t be too hard because i did move to such a little town and i’m slightly lacking in the friends department because all the little cliques are pretty much set in stone and if you didn’t grow up around here, you sure as hell are not going to be invited or involved. it was funny at the hall party, or dance as they call them around here, for new years you could see the divide of all the people. i feel pretty lucky i didn’t grow up around here, no one knows my dirty laundry. not that i have any at all… but my private life is not a soap opera for the bored housewives of this town to judge. i would prefer to keep it that way and be the mysterious girl from bc but somehow i don’t think that it will. i want to become more spiritual. i want to explore all the paths of spirituality, whatever that means. i want to read tarot at least once a day, i want to start meditating, i want to research and check out some things with crystal healing, i want to get to know the zodiac more, i want to maybe start palm reading. maybe i even want to go to church a couple times a month. however i start getting in touch with my higher power, god and the like, will hopefully bring some more meaning to my life. i’ve never ever been a religious person, i used to have a kid’s version of the bible that my oma gave me but it just all seemed like stories to me. 
hopefully i can keep on track and do what i say this year. and hopefully this blog will help me. it clearly didn’t last year when i set out with similar intentions but last year i was doing it all for someone else and this time it’s for me and this time it’s going to work.

irunthistownchicago:

“Today is my tomorrow,” is a reminder that the actions you take in the present have a tremendous impact on the future. every action has a consequence. If you decide to pass on your fitness routine today, you only end up setting yourself back tomorrow.
- Constance Ejuma

irunthistownchicago:

“Today is my tomorrow,” is a reminder that the actions you take in the present have a tremendous impact on the future. every action has a consequence. If you decide to pass on your fitness routine today, you only end up setting yourself back tomorrow.

- Constance Ejuma

(via fitnessandhappiness)

little old me

little old me